Mayor Steve Adler tweets Austin jokes for April Fool’s Day

Austin’s Mayor Steve Adler has a bit of a silly sense of humor and April Fool’s Day 2017 was just another day for it to shine.

This is the guy who once went on a Twitter rant, complete with “Star Wars” references, regarding traffic in Austin.

So the mayor had no problem drawing from some of the city’s biggest headaches and head scratchers. He started his joke “tweetstorm” with the massive new central library (which is currently delayed from opening, again).

Mispronouncing street names was “against the law” briefly (side note: Man-cha-ca has always been super easy to say).

He even found a new way to generate income for the city…

… along with proposing a handy way for the city’s bridge-dwelling bats to find their way home.

Adler “announced” a local initiative in response to the state’s controversial transgender bathroom bill.

Could you imagine “The Real World: Austin” part two? Adler suggested the city council as the cast of the next Austin-based reality show in (what else) a short-term rental.

Don’t think Adler forgot about two of the city’s favorite topics: Willie Nelson and ride-hailing companies. Nelson does have a hookup with special “snacks.”

We see what you did there mayor. Happy April Fool’s Day Austin!

If Austin had a royal family, it might look something like this

I’ve had time to soak up the glamour. I’ve meditated on the ermine-clad government intrigue and its applications to our current political climate. My main takeaways from Netflix’s addictive period drama “The Crown” are as follows:

  1. Fog will kill you.
  2. Queen Elizabeth’s family, if I am to put stock in Matt Smith’s cad-tastic performance as the Duke of Edinburgh in particular, are a bunch of self-centered, toxic emotion-tornadoes.
  3. Austin needs its own royal family.

This last point might be an unpopular one. But consider: Austin is already a politically and culturally isolated enclave in Texas, a state that often romanticizes the idea of its own sovereignty. Queen Elizabeth has stopped by our fair burg before (former Gov. Ann Richards looked completely at home next to the monarch). In an ever-changing city, we need some some comforting stability. Also, I am definitely joking.

However, with Belgium’s Princess Astrid visiting Austin this week, the Statesman webdesk wondered: If Austin had a royal family, who would wear the crowns? We stayed away from political figures, mind you. Here are our picks, with complete disregard for primogeniture and the definition of the word “family.”

His Majesty King Willie

Deborah Cannon/American-Statesman Willie Nelson walks the red carpet at the Paramount for the opening of "When Angels Sing" during the SXSW Film Festival on Sunday, March 10, 2013.
(Deborah Cannon/American-Statesman)

Prince William will eventually inherit the British throne, but we’ve already got a Willie on our throne. Could there be anyone else at the head of this royal family? Defender of the weird, emperor of the outlaws. He’s already got his own statue. Trigger is his sceptre, his hat is his crown. God save the king.

Prince Matthew, Duke of Central Texas

Matthew McConaughey joined Willie Nelson and a group of special guests on stage to sing "Will the Circle Be Unbroken," as the finale for Willie's performance at The Austin City Limits Music Festival on October 9, 2016. (Tamir Kalifa for American-Statesman)
(Tamir Kalifa for American-Statesman)

His very presence turns any University of Texas football game into an event. He can be found waxing elegiac about Charlie Strong, escorting students home and helping those in need on Thanksgiving. After Willie, he’s watching the throne.

Prince John Paul of Patrón

Deborah Cannon/American-Statesman John Paul DeJoria and Eloise DeJoria the red carpet at the Paramount for the opening of "When Angels Sing" during the SXSW Film Festival on Sunday, March 10, 2013.
(Deborah Cannon/American-Statesman)

The Austin billionaire, who is the founder of the John Paul Mitchell Systems hair-care empire and the Patrón tequila brand, certainly brings a royal purse. And up until recently, he owned a ranch full of exotic animals, which is aggressively imperial.

Princess Quita of Culpepper

Quita Culpepper spoke to thousands of people on the south steps of the Texas State Capitol during the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr Annual Community celebration. The celebration kicked off at the MLK Statue on the University of Texas campus and continued to the Texas State Capitol and ended at Huston-Tilotson College. The march is to celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King's legacy while uplifting diversity and multi-culturalism in Austin, Texas. (RICARDO B. BRAZZIELL / AMERICAN- STATESMAN)
(RICARDO B. BRAZZIELL / AMERICAN- STATESMAN)

Part of any royal’s responsibility is to capture the hearts and minds of the people, in part as a function of ceremonial public appearances. KVUE’s Quita Culpepper, a veteran of Austin’s news world, more than fits the bill. Plus, she’s got the whole “comfort in times of tribulation” thing down pat.

Aaron, Duke of Franklin

(Laura Skelding/American-Statesman)
(Laura Skelding/American-Statesman)

Lest we forget that food is as important to Austin as duty is to the British crown. Aaron Franklin is the defender of our faith in smoked meat.

Kendra, Duchess of Hexagonal Jewelry

Deborah Cannon/AMERICAN-STATESMAN Kendra Scott for the Glossy 8 issue at Jo's Coffee Shop on S. Congress on Tuesday, July 19, 2011. For Jan. 17 Austin360 cutline: The 'I love you so much' wall at Jo's Coffee on South Congress has become, in a relatively short amount of time, an iconic spot in Austin. We used it for a 2011 photo shoot with jewelry designer Kendra Scott.
(Deborah Cannon/AMERICAN-STATESMAN)

What says royalty more than crown jewels? And who says turquoise can’t be a crown jewel? Any ruling class needs a little glitz. Best part: Austin jewelry magnate Kendra Scott brings her own baubles.

Robert, Count of Sin City

(American-Statesman file)
(American-Statesman file)

Austin’s the “third coast,” and almost no one (save a Linklater) has done more to bolster the city’s reputation as a cinematic hotspot than “From Dusk till Dawn” filmmaker Robert Rodriguez.

Sanya, Countess of the Forty Acres

Sanya Richards-Ross does a quick Snapchat before the start of her talk "Keeping the Buzz Going After the Crowd Goes Home" with Matthew Futterman of the Wall Street Journal at the Four Seasons as part of SXSports on Friday, March 11, 2016. DEBORAH CANNON / AMERICAN-STATESMAN
Sanya Richards-Ross does a quick Snapchat before the start of her talk “Keeping the Buzz Going After the Crowd Goes Home” with Matthew Futterman of the Wall Street Journal at the Four Seasons as part of SXSports on Friday, March 11, 2016. DEBORAH CANNON / AMERICAN-STATESMAN

One of the most prestigious kingdoms in the Austin realm, UT’s sports programs are some of our most prized institutions. Who better to reign over the burnt orange isle than Olympic champion, Texas alumna, entrepreneur and TV star Sanya Richards-Ross?

Leslie, the Queen Mother

07.04.10 Alberto Martínez AMERICAN-STATESMAN -- Leslie Cochran joins thousands of Austinites at Auditorium Shores to celebrate the Fourth of July. The evening cooled as the sun went down, then with an echoing thunder, the fireworks show began.
07.04.10 Alberto Martínez AMERICAN-STATESMAN — Leslie Cochran joins thousands of Austinites at Auditorium Shores to celebrate the Fourth of July. The evening cooled as the sun went down, then with an echoing thunder, the fireworks show began.

The queen is dead. Long live the queen.

Think we left off a Princess Zooey, or maybe a Prince Elijah? Let us know.

Southwest Austin homeowner proudly displays ‘Willie Nelson for President’ yard sign

Hillary Clinton? Donald Trump? This Austin homeowner has decided neither candidate is right for them and instead is spreading the word to vote for a local hero.

A home in southwest Austin displays a Willie Nelson for President yard sign making their own comment about the contentious 2016 elections. RALPH BARRERA/AMERICAN-STATESMAN
A home in southwest Austin displays a Willie Nelson for President yard sign making their own comment about the contentious 2016 elections.
RALPH BARRERA/AMERICAN-STATESMAN

 

Willie Nelson, hometown hero and leader of the hippies and rednecks and everyone in between, has been unofficially campaigning for years now. There’s even a whole section on his website devoted to “Willie For President” merch, which is where it appears this homeowner found this sign.

There’s even a “Willie for President” mural in Austin.

Seems like he’s got pretty favorable polling numbers. Willie 2020?

What people are saying: Austin officials, celebs remember 9/11

It’s been 15 years since tragedy struck the United States when planes crashed into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, affecting everyone across the nation. To this day, the country remembers what happened on 9/11.

September 11, 2016 - Austin Fire Department honor guard, Reggie Tait, right, rings a bell signaling end of shift with Roger Davis, left, assisting during the Austin Fire Department 9-11 Ceremony held at the Buford Fire Tower on Lady Bird Lake in Austin, Texas, on Sunday, Sept. 11, 2016. The 9-11 event marked the 15th anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attack in New York City, Pentagon, and UA93 plane crash in Pennsylvania. RODOLFO GONZALEZ / AUSTIN AMERICAN-STATESMAN)
September 11, 2016 – Austin Fire Department honor guard, Reggie Tait, right, rings a bell signaling end of shift with Roger Davis, left, assisting during the Austin Fire Department 9-11 Ceremony held at the Buford Fire Tower on Lady Bird Lake in Austin, Texas, on Sunday, Sept. 11, 2016. The 9-11 event marked the 15th anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attack in New York City, Pentagon, and UA93 plane crash in Pennsylvania. RODOLFO GONZALEZ / AUSTIN AMERICAN-STATESMAN)

Read: Austin honors fallen on 15th anniversary of 9/11 attacks

While celebrities and public officials around the U.S. have expressed their mourning on social media, here’s a look at what Austin’s own are saying:

https://twitter.com/willienelson/status/775006805613096960

https://twitter.com/billmcraven/status/774993504489525248

https://twitter.com/TexasFB/status/775048395694088192

 

Willie Week: Happy 83rd birthday, Willie Nelson

A-list: Willie Nelson performs at Luck Reunion on March 18, 2016. Suzanne Cordeiro/For American-Statesman
Willie Nelson performs at Luck Reunion on March 18, 2016. Suzanne Cordeiro for American-Statesman.

Austin’s beloved Red Headed Stranger celebrates his 83rd birthday today. We couldn’t fit our excitement into just 24 hours, so we’ve been celebrating Willie for five nostalgic days. In case you weren’t religiously following Willie Week, here’s what you might have missed:

Keep up with Willie’s musical announcements and other shenanigans at austin360.com/willie.

Willie Nelson met the Muppets, and their group photo is our new favorite thing

Willie Nelson is known for collaborations with artists like Waylon Jennings and Snoop Dogg. Now, it looks like he’s making beautiful music with the Muppets.

(Deborah Cannon/American-Statesman)
(Deborah Cannon/American-Statesman)

» SEE MORE PHOTOS OF WILLIE NELSON THROUGH THE YEARS «

The country music king and Austin icon posted a photo to Instagram on Sunday of him posing with some felt friends, The Electric Mayhem. Animal looks particularly happy to meet the “On the Road Again” singer.

View this post on Instagram

Willie jammed with The Electric Mayhem Band yesterday!

A post shared by Willie Nelson (@willienelsonofficial) on

We couldn’t find any details on the official websites for either the Muppets or Nelson, but smart money would bet that the singer is set for an upcoming guest spot on ABC’s “The Muppets.” At least one Muppet fan site seems to think so.

This isn’t Nelson’s first time to rub elbows with Jim Henson’s crew. He famously recorded a cover of Kermit the Frog’s “The Rainbow Connection” in 2001, released on the Grammy-nominated album of the same name.

Also, if you need this fact for bar trivia: Nelson has his own page on the Muppet Wiki.

In other recent Willie news, the marijuana advocate revealed last year that, yes, he would smoke a bowl with Donald Trump if asked. Also be on the lookout for the red-headed stranger on this big screen in the upcoming “Zoolander 2.”