‘7 stages of living in Austin’ — do you agree?

As the sun rises on the city of Austin, people run and cycle along the boardwalk over Lady Bird Lake while others fish nearby. With sunny skies, temperatures are expected to reach a high of 92 Monday, March 14, 2016. LAURA SKELDING/AMERICAN-STATESMAN

As the sun rises on the city of Austin, people run and cycle along the boardwalk over Lady Bird Lake while others fish nearby. With sunny skies, temperatures are expected to reach a high of 92 Monday, March 14, 2016. LAURA SKELDING/AMERICAN-STATESMAN

It’s inarguable — “moving to Austin” is having a moment. As the fastest growing metropolitan area in the country, Austin continues to entice waves of newcomers to pack up, sweat it out and settle into a Central Texas lifestyle.

But are all of these transplants ready for what living in Austin really entails? There’s more to life in the 5-1-2 than paddle boarding. Kayaking, for instance, and what you’re going to eat after you’ve finished kayaking.

According to Thrillist, there are seven stages of adjusting to life in Austin (Disclaimer: Not all involve sunshine and recreational water activities):

  • Stage 1 “Honeymoon stage.” You made it! There are so many things you haven’t tried and now’s the time to try them all at once. Everything is magic including your new, very expensive, apartment.
  • Stage 2 “Wannabe stage.” If you could only convince everyone else that you belong here just as much as any native Austinite. According to Thrillist, this is the stage in which you stop frequenting Sixth Street and start hitting up some of the hipper East Side bars.
  • Stage 3 “Legit local stage.” You’re renting a house now, with a real backyard, and now that you’ve “stopped boasting about being a local, you’ve actually become one.” At this point in your adjustment your go-to activity is “anything free.”
  • Stage 4 “Constantly complaining about everything stage.” What better way to let others know how much you belong than to constantly complain about everything going on around you? Traffic, heat, expenses. At this point your “life outlook has shifted from Shiner Bock half-full to Shiner Bock half-empty.”
  • Stage 5 “The Austinite mid-life crisis.” This is a major turning point in an Austin transplant’s life. According to Thrillist, you only stop asking yourself what you’re doing with your life long enough to realize, “You’re old and alone with your shelter animals in a studio apartment that smells like old brisket.”
  • Stage 6 “You actually left stage.” As Austinites through-and-through, we can’t attest to this particular stage, but Thrillest claims the “big business and gentrification” are enough for some to finally get up, get out, and prepare for a major case of FOMO.
  • Stage 7 “Honey, I’m home.” Why does one leave if not to return? You’ve moved back and into the most affordable place you’ve ever lived in Austin. You continue to assure yourself that, “It’s better than Dallas,” and every other city is “equally intolerable.”

Welcome home, Austinite. Get out on that lake and kayak.

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